‘How do I get past my sense of over familiarity and operate from a place of not knowing?’

Framed differently, ‘How does what I know get in the way of what I don’t know but maybe need to learn?

Because one of our biggest challenges- in the face of virtually unlimited information and frighteningly low attention spans – is our over familiarity.

Indeed, asking this one question consciously, repeatedly and sincerely is helping one of our clients – a large telecom player – address several people and communication related issues in a meaningful and sustainable manner.

This most widely prevalent of our diseases comes in many avatars – overfamiliarity with people, things, ideas. If anything, everything we do or everyone we meet on a daily or an ongoing basis, we run the risk of being over familiar with.

In turn, it erects an enormous barrier to learning and unlearning because we are likely to inhabit a space of cliche, deja vu, even exhaustion, before an idea or a thought is even presented to us or before an individual has spoken. We are in a constant state of second guessing.

So what are the problems, really? Well, at least three spring to mind almost instantaneously.

(A) When we come from a place of knowing, our senses are over stimulated – unable to distinguish noise from music, so to speak. In everything we do, our previous experience of years, decades or sometimes even days bears heavy on us and those around us rather then being a gentle enabler. The killer is that sometimes, our experience is not even first hand.
One example is where a practice that we have adopted – dance, yoga, tennis – starts yielding positive results and in that state of thrill that something actually is giving results that activity goes from being ‘one’ way to keep fit to the ‘best’ way of keeping fit to the ‘only’ way of keeping fit to the exclusion of everything else – all in one fell swoop, thus preventing an open mind whenever one is called upon to listen.

B) Our knowledge and capability can not only potentially blind us to the new possibilities but more damningly also to the knowledge and capability of other people. When you enter a room with the ready answers – a space of knowing – people notice it from a mile away, ready with defences as to how it will not work. The what of what you have to say is irrelevant. That you are not going to account for the intelligence in that room is both troubling and self defeating. Every time you use your intelligence as a weapon, you are likely to find that people disconnect, shut down or simply don’t feel comfortable talking about an idea in front of you.

C) the state of the art – whether with technology, knowledge or any know how – is not only not permanent, but neither still nor relevant for too long. Our knowledge is increasing and decaying at the same time. If there was any doubt that no one knows anything, the last year with brexit and trump alone has put the last nails in that coffin. Everyone with certitude has an egg on their face and no place to hide.

Example : Consider this – all we can say is that only a certain % of what we know will be relevant one, three and five years from now. And if you think it’s problem enough putting a number to what that might be, you will die laughing at the prospect that no one knows which 10,15 or 20% will be relevant.

And yet, there is hope. We can change this. Here’s a quick primer of why operating from a place of not knowing or what can be called having a ‘rookie mindset’ is a worthwhile, even wonderful pursuit.

(A) Learning is born in the struggle that there is in holding the space of not knowing.
When we don’t know, we ask better questions because we are challenged. The challenge itself is immaterial. And two things are likely to happen (I) the challenges lend meaning to what we do and (II) when we lack our usual resources is when we become resourceful. We are often at our best, when we know the least.

You cannot be certain and vulnerable at the same time. When you have all the answers already, you are merely looking for confirmation and not evidence. There is no scope for feedback.

It is in seeking and not knowing that we catch glimpses of the truth. At the outer edges of that we already know, is where we do our best and find our greatest joy.

We stay agile, lean and nimble footed – and yes, are less likely to take things for granted.

(B) We give people a chance to honor their own truth. As a leader, coming from a place of knowing can suck out life and intelligence of the room while coming from a place of enquiry and not knowing expand the space with double the access to intelligence that is subsequently manifest, enabled and amplified.

(C) Finally, coming from a place of not knowing is not an easy thing of course, because of the attendant anxiety of not being taken seriously, because we are attached to things we think we know and also because we tend to create our narratives and identities around them over a period of time.

And yet, the time to ditch this has never been better or the need for it ever been greater.

Consider this – in a world where the intensity, magnitude and frequency of change is unprecedented, we are unlikely to ever face the same problem twice.

Whether it is a form of exercise, or a way to solve a problem, there is never only one way to dance. Tattoo this, if you must.

Opinion may be the lowest form of knowledge but knowledge itself is the lowest form of understanding because it tells us about the past.

Because knowledge must change with context and face the challenge of relevance every single day.

Not knowing gives us the space away from our own thoughts and stories. A semblance of objectivity. There is distance. And that distance brings perspective.